UM, SORRY ABOUT THAT...

An MPs expenses scandal isn’t great at the best of times for those involved, but it couldn’t have been worse than during a recession. Michael Martin looked weak as Speaker in front of the House of Commons on Monday [right] and there are clearly serious problems in politics at the moment. My sources on the Telegraph suggest that the paper have only touched the tip of the iceberg and there are many more stories in an investigation that could continue for months. The paper has recorded an average daily circulation increase of 100,000 over the last week which is a superb result and well deserved. So this all seems like a good time to call a General Election. Who knows what will happen? Perhaps Esther Rantzen and Joanna Lumley can show them how it’s done.

David Cameron is rightly petitioning for an immediate general election and for parliament to be dissolved, which would certainly be interesting. Wouldn’t you just love a general election at the moment? Not just expenses, but the economy is still a major issue and other topics like Gurkhas are taking up far more time than Gordon Brown would have wanted, whilst the British National Party continues to gain momentum. The European and council elections are coming up next month, which will be a good indicator of where people see this country going, but I fully expect that the results will be very surprising. Even the Green Party seem to be getting more exposure under Caroline Lucas, and it’s always good to have more choice. So go on Gordon, call an election. It’s not as if you’ve already tried to in the last few years. U-turn if you want to, Prime Minister.

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Last week the Evening Standard relaunched by telling readers that it was profoundly ‘sorry’ for being such a poor quality newspaper over the last few years. Now just imagine you were a journalist on that paper, thinking you’ve put in a tremendous amount of effort over the last year as cutbacks have begun to bite, and suddenly you’ve got to apologise. I would not be impressed. The Standard is always a good read - well worth the 50p more you have to spend than getting the free London Lite or thelondonpaper - and it’s build up to the Mayor of London elections was superb, showing its influence to get Boris Johnson into power. The paper has a team of top journalists including Andrew Gilligan, who won best journalist at the British Press Awards last year for his investigative work, and it’s just not right that this should be devalued. I hope new editor Geordie Grieg manages to improve the paper, but its still a top read in my opinion, and it’s a weak effort to simply criticise what has been done in the past. Perhaps he just wants to get one over Veronica Wadley.

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You might remember the famous Monty Python sketch where John Cleese teaches a group of men self-defence lessons using fruit. He said: “First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him ’elpless.” Just to clarify, this was a comedy - not for real, but an America teenager tried to rob a shop last week with a banana, then ate it to destroy the evidence. But as John Szwalla, 17, could not swallow the skin it was photographed by police in North Carolina. Reports suggest he told staff he had a gun but he had a banana. Shop owner Bobby Mabe said: “If he had had a gun he would've shot me, but he had a banana.” What a classic - some people really are phenomenally stupid. It would only happen in America.

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I really hope we get World Cup 2018 in England. What better people to launch the bid than David Beckham and...er...Gordon Brown and Prince William. Whilst Brown might be an avid Raith Rovers fan (and you thought supporting Southend United was bad), Prince William knows far more about racing about on horses with sticks [right] than kicking a ball. Surely we could have picked better people to head up the bid! Alan Shearer’s not got much on his plate at the moment. But it’s been a while since we had international football in this country during Euro 1996, and we did pretty well that time. The home nation always has a big advantage, so maybe this will be the only way in which England could win the tournament in the next 10 years. Hopefully FIFA will come to their senses and realise that this is the best footballing country in the world, and therefore deserves the competition. It’s not as if the 2012 Olympics are going to serve up that many great matches...

AN EXPENSE-IVE MISTAKE

I do wish I had a contacts book as good as the Telegraph. It’s been a pleasure to read their continuing investigation on MPs’ expenses, which just seemed to go on and on in yesterday’s paper. I am very interested to hear that my money has been spent on duck-shaped bath sponges, jaffa cakes and a lemon [right]. As Matthew D’Ancona pointed out yesterday, that’s the thing that’s most annoying - not just the £500,000 claimed by Sinn Fein MPs for a second home in London despite never visiting the Commons. Few politicians have escaped the Telegraph’s investigation, which either suggests they are all dishonest or there is something inherently wrong with the system. In a rare move, I’m going to back politicians and go for the latter.

Put yourself in their shoes. If you had the chance to claim pretty much everything on expenses and nobody batted an eyelid, you would probably go for it. I certainly think I would. But the way in which this scandal has unravelled has suggested public shock every time a new receipt is uncovered - for example; the adult films, gardening and home cinema systems. It’s as if the media are shocked by what they are hearing. But to be honest, this has probably been going on for years and it’s a good job the Telegraph’s Freedom of Information request appeals which went on for years finally got through. Perhaps the MPs and Mr Speaker wanted to keep it quiet, not because they were worried about having to pay it back, but because they knew once the public found out about the system’s failing, there would be uproar. And here it is.

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One of the great things about reading newspapers is occasionally you see a story that you just have to tell everyone about - the ‘Hey Maud’ syndrome, as one of my lecturers puts it. Step forward Sorted, a great Christian men’s magazine on which I’m officially a ‘junior news reporter’ but haven’t actually written anything yet. Anyway, that’s not the point. They recently ran a survey which revealed male churchgoers prefer ‘proper macho songs’, and hate hugging and sitting in circles to discuss their feelings. They also get put off by embroidery and flowers. Read more here: http://tinyurl.com/rxtntk.

This is so true! I’ve been saying for years that the church has become too feminised and men do not want to be singing about how Jesus is their best friend - but rather songs like ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’ and rousing proclamational tunes like that. The survey also found that men prefer to discuss issues like family issues and money at the pub. This is an excellent point, as women are much better at taking things in from a sermon and then discussing it afterwards, whereas men prefer to rebut points and questions as they come along - maybe over a game of paintball followed by a curry! This may be a generalisation, but it’s important to note.

So here are the Top 10 male-friendly hymns according to the survey: Onward Christian Soldiers; And Can It Be; Guide Me O Thy Great Redeemer; All People That On Earth Do Dwell; Be Thou My Vision; How Great Thou Art; Amazing Grace; Eternal Father, Strong To Save; Our God Reigns; and Forgive Our Foolish Ways. Spot anything sentimental or emotional in there? No, neither did I. Maybe that suggests this survey is spot on! Well done Sorted.

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I’m fed up of iTunes. It’s slower than Windows Media Player, you can’t download anything directly to an external device, anything you pay for can only be put on an iPod and it’s awkwardly sorted. I would use YouTube for listening to music online but again it’s often difficult to find the right thing, and the sound quality is poor. So thank the Lord for Spotify. If you haven’t seen Spotify, it’s a legal program that allows you to stream pretty much any album or single that’s been commercially released over here. Every now and again, you hear an advert in between songs, but these are so rare that it doesn’t bother me at all - especially when you have access to loads of music for free! I’ve now got access to the whole back catalogue of all my favourite bands without having to spend a penny, which is brilliant.

But does the signal the death of music as we know it? Well the fact that I ordered the new Bloc Party and Maximo Park albums on Amazon this morning would suggest not. You can’t download anything for free on this site - it just streams things whilst you’re online. So if you want to put a track on your mp3 player you still have to download it or purchase the CDs. Since I listen to lots of music when I’m on the move, I’ll still purchase albums. But now I can stream pretty much any song I want online, I will be using this program a lot! Make sure you sign up at: www.spotify.com/en. Just to clarify, this is not a shameless piece of promotion for Spotify - I do genuinely love it!

THE LADY'S NOT FOR TURNING

It’s not a good idea to mention Margaret Thatcher much in Sheffield - they don’t really like her up here. Many a late-night discussion in halls was had in my first-year with local friends complaining she ruined their parents’ lives. One complained last week that Thatcher should never be given a state funeral when she dies because of all the damage she did to the northern economy. I think they would rather have a state party. This is in slight contrast to many of my friends back home in the south who actually quite like what she did for this country. I only mention this because it is 30 years since she came into power and saved this country from going down the drain.

Just watching videos of her exchanges in parliament with the Labour opposition are enough to make anyone appreciate that she was an exceptionally good public speaker. This one’s a good place to start: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2f8nYMCO2I The basic point of angst for people from the north is that she closed the mines and marked the end of British industry as we knew it. The basic economics that many people from the south quote is that if an industry is failing because of better overseas competition, you close it down and concentrate on something else. If people are striking for whatever reason, and you don’t agree with this as a government, then you should not give in. No, no, no. ‘The Lady’s Not For Turning’, as she famously said, and that was why she was so successful.

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I was very interested to read how a four-year-old girl gave evidence in court last week that resulted in the conviction of Baby P’s stepfather for rape. I’ve been to lots of court cases in Sheffield Crown Court and Sheffield Magistrates Court over the last few months as part of my course (I haven’t been in loads of trouble for football hooliganism) and often see witnesses break down under the pressure and emotion of giving evidence. But asking a toddler to talk in detail about being raped two years ago was unprecedented at the Old Bailey, and would rarely happen at any other courts. There has been some argument in the press over whether such young toddlers should be subjected to questioning, but I think if it’s necessary for justice, then it has to be done. It would have been uncomfortable to watch that trial though, and the legal system must be praised for the way in which it handled the case.

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Ah well, we thought we were safe after it was announced the economy was beginning to show signs of recovery, but it seems we’re all going to die anyway of swine flu (if you believe the Daily Express). So what is the biggest crisis? Is it the economy going down the pan, many people losing jobs and investments plummeting - or - people being isolated, a major panic over a pandemic and fearing for your life? At least the share prices of face mask and Tamiflu manufactures have risen over the last few weeks. My conclusion is that most people would rather be alive during a recession than dead during healthier economic times. But let me know if you disagree!

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I was devastated when the last episode of Skins Series 3 finished on E4 as I just didn’t know what I was going to do on Thursday evenings at 10pm. Thank goodness therefore for The Inbetweeners! For those of you who haven’t been fortunate enough to watch it, the series follows a group of four male sixth-formers through a series of events. They are completely different personalities, which makes the show an absolute joy to watch as it reminds me of lots of people I used to go to school with, and situations which I’ve found myself in over the years.

Much of it is exaggeration, but this helps the drama to highlight how funny life can be as a teenager. However, I would like to point out that although I can relate to some of it, I have never stuffed a wig down my trousers, borrowed a tramp’s shoes outside a nightclub, or been thrown into a pond after a day’s work experience. OK, so the series isn’t that realistic, but it’s meant to be a comedy more than a drama anyway! If you haven’t seen it already, don’t miss this Thursday’s episode at 10pm on E4.

CLASSIC FM WORK EXPERIENCE

I’ve just spent a very interesting week working at Classic FM in Leicester Square, which was a great experience as it’s probably my favourite radio station and often gets me through the night when work starts to pile up. To give you the background - it used to be part of GCap until this was bought out by Global Radio last year, and now it’s based at Global’s London offices amongst other stations XFM, Capital, Choice, LBC, Gold and Heart - which certainly makes for an interesting diversity of sounds as you wander through the building! I was working primarily in production, which involved a variety of tasks such as implementing show schedules, cutting audio and responding to listener enquiries. I also met Boris Johnson on the stairs.

I’ve worked at a variety of radio stations in the past including BBC Essex, LBC and Premier Christian Radio, but Classic FM was the first one I’ve worked for which is primarily focussed on music, not speech. The average listener profile of Classic is easy to tell by listening to the station by the adverts - mentions of Waitrose and RHS Garden Wisley, and a significant lack of Poundland. Much of Classic FM’s audience comes from the ABC1 socio-economic group, which could be seen as a Radio 4 audience, so it means Classic FM is the only radio station some advertisers have to reach a high-end market. With 5.7m listeners, it’s well worth buying some airtime.

I learnt that the unfortunate inclusion of “118 212 - Maureen, oooh she’s cheap” adverts after every morning bulletin is unavoidable due to an agreement with IRN (Independent Radio News) - now operated by Sky News - which mean you must carry IRN’s own adverts if you want to use their audio clips during bulletins and news wires service. Make sure you listen to Classic FM at around three minutes past the hour, just to hear the newsreader say in a posh accent: “It’s three minutes past eight” - then -“Oooh she’s cheap” - then posh accent again - “And the weather - patchy cloud in places...” Absolutely brilliant and always guaranteed a laugh.

Anyway, ‘back to the music’ and a little more about what I was doing there. Like many other radio stations, Classic FM’s music schedule operates through the programme RCS Selector, and I received much tuition from a very helpful music team in how to operate this system. I was soon able to schedule a few weeks of The Full Works show, find potential music clashes, and cut and process audio. Because I love classical music, this was really good fun and I very much enjoyed myself. I got to meet most of the main presenters, such as Jamie Crick, Mark Forrest, Anne-Marie Minhall and John Brunning, and was able to talk to them about the station, what they enjoy about working there, and how they started out.

The station is run by a small group of people considering the size of its audience, but they work well as a close-knit team, and it felt calm throughout the whole week - maybe helped by the fact they had Classic FM on the radio all the time! Just one final thing to tell you about - I was handling some listener enquiries, and one elderly woman wrote to say: ‘The youth of today listen to such tripe which is why I’ll stick with your station’. I replied: ‘You may be interested to hear that many students listen to Classic FM whilst working - so they’re not all bad.’

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James O’Brien v Frank Lampard was a battle I never thought we would ever hear on the airwaves. But in a move that probably made Lampard’s agent have kittens when she heard about it, the Chelsea midfielder responded directly to LBC after he was told by his tearful sister that O’Brien was accusing him of letting down his kids. This came after his ex-fiancee Elen Rives said he was living in his £8.5m home whilst she was in a small flat with their two children. Lampard phoned up to have a go at O’Brien for insinuating he was a bad parent, and it made for some fascinating audio [listen here: http://mediaweb.musicradio.com/player/default.asp?s=82&e=89636].

I can say more about this story than most, because I actually worked with O’Brien when I was on a placement at LBC last Easter, helping produce his show and taking calls. He has got lots of stick in the media over the weekend for his style of presenting, but having worked with him, I think he’s great at provoking debate and is a nice guy off air too. Kay Burley’s interview with O’Brien shortly after on Sky News did not treat him with enough respect, in my opinion, and I think his exchange with Lampard should be upheld as a piece of brilliant journalism. It’s not everyday that a major celebrity feels like he has to have his say to the extent of phoning-in to a radio show, so well done to Lampard for sticking up for himself - and well done to O’Brien for a brilliant show.

STANDING UP FOR THE OLD BILL

A few weeks ago I posted a Facebook status update saying I wanted to "protest against the G20 protestors - go home and stop wasting police time". Within 90 minutes there were 26 comments on my wall. Almost all of these were in support of my feelings, and the amount of posts convinced me that there are many people out there who don't like protestors very much. I don't think the police like protestors very much either. But while this is no excuse for unidentified police hitting innocent people, I think we're starting to victimise them.

The police have been grouped into one big mob by much of the media, and are being excused of unjustifiable tactics of 'kettling' and the like. But the majority of policeman were at the G20 protests with one aim - to try and keep the peace and protect the public. It seems that a few let their emotions get the better of them and strike down protestors unnecessarily, but that should not be a call for us to push for a radical overhaul of the policing system. If you compare the Metropolitan Police to the forces in other countries, we are very fortunate to be so well protected. High-profile policemen are resigning because they held a secret document the wrong way up (Bob Quick), and because a suspected terrorist was unfortunately shot dead (Ian Blair). This is not a cause for concern in relative terms! But it is correct that the IPCC should investigate how the G20 protests were controlled, and how the police can do a better job in the future. I just don't think we should be panicking...

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I've just started work experience at Classic FM this week, and I will be reporting more about that next week - but I had a great first day today! However I was on a different radio station at lunchtime, after BBC Essex called me as they wanted to interview me about the rising problems with student debt. You can listen on 0h44m30s at http://tinyurl.com/d6lwmv. I was asked whether I thought university was still worth it and about the problems of graduating in a recession, so it makes for interesting listening! My basic response was that even though you graduate with mounds of debt, it's much better to do that and then make it up in the long term when you earn higher wages as a result of obtaining a top degree.

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In other news, The Guardian ran a story today about the lack of jobs in the media for graduates, but I think this could be a blessing in disguise. There are lots of nonsense courses at lesser universities out there for people who want to get into journalism or the media. However if there are fewer jobs in the future, then hopefully universities will stop running doss 'media studies' courses that offer little chance of a good job. By studing journalism practically at a top university, you are taught how to be a good journalist, and leave fully qualified and ready to go. By cutting out these 'lesser' degrees, we might ensure that only people who really want to get into journalism and the media go to the top universities and get the jobs everyone wants.

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I've just returned from a great holiday with the family in Barcelona, where we visited various sites such as Parc Guelle and Camp Nou, and also made the journey to local Catalan towns Tarragona and Sitges. Barcelona is such a vibrant and cultural city, and we've been out there four times in the last 10 years as we have relatives who live just outside in Corbera.

Anyway, enough about the holiday - "Mes que un club", as they say at Camp Nou. I thought Newcastle fans were mental about their football club, but in Catalunya it's even more crazy. Barcelona have currently got one of the most exciting players in the world, Lionel Messi. This guy is just so good that it seems his feet are constantly glued to the ball and no player has a chance to take it off him. He sums up what is beautiful about football, and I sincerely hope that Chelsea get humbled in the forthcoming Champions League semi-final by the skill of their opponents. Barça are what football was invented for.

A FUZZY FUTURE SIGNAL?

It's not looking good for commercial radio. In the Sony Radio Academy Awards 2009, over two-thirds of nominations are for BBC stations, in a competition which traditionally recognises commercial talent. But it seems the BBC, which hold over 60% market share of listeners nationwide across a plethora of stations, have had a good year (once you take out the Brand/Ross/Sachs affair). But whilst it should be praised for producing quality programming and justifying licence fee payers' money, this will always be at the expense of commercial stations. They do need a strong competitor, but are clearly not doing enough good work themselves according to these award nominations. You could blame the credit crunch hitting advertising revenues and budgets, but radio is all about ideas and personalities - and that is what seems to be lacking. It's good for Absolute Radio that it is up for seven awards, but that's the only silver lining in an otherwise cloudy picture. Hopefully Classic FM will pick up some gongs too - as I'm there on work experience next week!

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I'm back home for Easter at the moment from the University of Sheffield and it's given me some time to think about the north and south. I write about the divide quite a lot on my blog, but it would be true to say I didn't even know it existed until I ventured into Yorkshire a few years ago! Most people in the north just don't seem to like southerners. To be honest, I don't mind northerners at all - and it's been an eye opening experience to meet so many of them. But I've always prefered the south. Maybe it's just because things are more expensive and the people don't talk to you, therefore you can feel richer without actually being rich down south - and you can get your newspaper read in peace on the train! I can't believe how many people start having a random chat with me on a bus or tram in Sheffield. I've been brought up in a London culture where it's more polite to ignore someone on the tube - in fact, that was probably the reason why the Metro newspaper was invented. So please just let me read! Sorry for being so rude - I do like a good Yorkshire pudding, so it's not all bad.

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You might notice I'm writing this blog on a Bank Holiday Monday before 6am - how is that for committment?! Well it's not as if I had anything better to do, but it is Easter and I wanted to remind both readers and myself of the importance of this festival. The Archbishop of York, Dr John Sentamu, got it spot on yesterday when saying football matches should not be played on Easter Sunday - it's a day of even more importance for Christians than Christmas Day, and it's not as if we'd all sit down as a family on December 25th to watch Sky Sports live. But aside from sports scheduling, Easter is a good time to have a fresh/new start in life - even more so than New Year - as that is exactly what an egg symbolises, and what the power of the cross represents at this time of year.

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I have just finished watching the first series of Skins and must say it's one of the best dramas I've ever seen. To explain, it basically charts the life and interwinding relationships of a group of sixth-formers, by concentrating on a different character in each episode. It's incredibly well scripted and directed, as you really feel part of the action and storylines, so I would say it's highly recommend viewing. Channel 4 have produced a gem here - and it looks like the new series of The Inbetweeners, a similar drama of E4 with slightly more comedy and fun involved, will also be a success. I'm pleased to see the UK's 'alternative' and 'edgy' broadcaster producing some exceptionally good drama. Long may it continue!

ON THE FRONT PAGE

I was rather surprised to receive a text last Friday morning from a friend saying: "Just spotted your picture on the uni home page - very nice". Instantly I rush to http://www.sheffield.ac.uk/ and find that yes, indeed, I am on the University of Sheffield homepage. How embarrassing. Regular readers of my blog may remember when I was doing a prospectus photoshoot last November (click here). Well, it was that picture [right] that made it online! I received dozens of texts and emails from friends, saying "have you seen it yet?", and it was quite exciting to have all the attention really. One of my work colleagues said that I looked like a Lord of the Rings gatekeeper. Thanks for that, Rob.

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My mother received a call last week from the Daily Telegraph asking if we wanted to subscribe for a period at a price of 60p off each issue. She told me that this is because everyone's reading newspapers online (Strike 1). I bought a copy of the Yorkshire Post a few weeks ago in between two lectures, and my friend asked me why I didn't just read their website for free and save 50p (Strike 2). I see the Daily Star is now often dedicating more front-page space to the fact that it's cheaper than The Sun and the News of the World, than its lead story (Strike 3).

There has been enough written about the decline of newspapers, especially local, so I don't want to go into that. But I just don't like reading news online. I love to sit down with a newspaper and flick through it, reading some articles and skimming others of less interest. There's no substitute for this online. Yes, you might be able to get your news quicker and that's certainly a good thing, but am I alone in enjoying the daily idea of sitting down and reading a newspaper? I hope not. Show your support for the printed newspaper!

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There was a fascinating article in The Independent today on an Financial Services Authority investigation into "a series of insider dealing scams" on the stock market recently (click here). The basics of it are that people with insider knowledge of imminent company mergers or takeovers are buying shares cheap, then watching the price rise as everyone else purchases them, and then selling them at a profit. This is clearly unethical trading as the insiders have an unfair advantage on everyone else. I put a lot of effort into my own investments in shares, so I don't like to see others making bigger profits just because they know the right people. But I suppose that's just tough luck for me.

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Alan Shearer is back at Newcastle United, which is something I'm very pleased about. But the big question is, can the former Number 9 revitalise a struggling side who have one just one game since Christmas, and help them avoid the drop into the Championship? I'm pretty confident that the 'Shearer bounce' effect will have a huge impact on the players and fans, as his presence in itself around the training ground and dressing room is enough to motivate the team. However it's looking increasingly likely that time is running out for the Toon Army, and that the Geordies should starting looking at directions to Peterborough and Blackpool, not Manchester or Liverpool anymore. It's very upsetting to see the demise of such a great club, but maybe going down would give them the chance to completely rebuild the team and come back stronger. It happened to West Ham United, and they are in a much better position now.

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Many thanks to all those currently viewing my blog. It's great fun writing it, and the fact I'm getting over 120 hits a week shows that you like it too, so I'm pleased! And if you're one of the readers from India, Cyprus or Canada, please let me know - it's good to hear that I'm getting international exposure, according to Google Analytics...